Review: ‘Just the Tip: Sex Tips for Chicks by Gay Dudes’
How’s your sex life, ladies, gents and non-binary pals?
I know the title says it’s for chicks, but I gotta be honest, I think people identifying anywhere on the spectrum could learn something from this hilariously informative little book, proving once again that size doesn’t matter!
Just the Tip is published by Lost the Plot, a quirky, brave new imprint of Pantera Press. It seeks to push boundaries and get people talking about things that matter, like mind blowing, consensual and safe sex! Just The Tip “went directly to the sexperts on everything “man junk” to bust some myths, get some tips and learn a lot.”
Despite its apparent focus on men and heterosexual relations, I definitely think this book is for everyone who wants to get to know their bodies, and the body of their partner a bit better. It’s the perfect book to gift this Valentine’s day to your SO, yourself or as a staple item in your galentine’s day goodie bags!
Opening with tips on masturbation, we dive right into pleasuring the female anatomy first, because really good sex is sex that all participants enjoy!
Tip #1 MASTERBATION: DO IT
“It’s very hard to pleasure someone who doesn’t know what they like and what will get them off. Alas, there is no magical solution… the only way to find out what you like is to experiment. Trial and error is key. So take your pants off, lie back and don’t be afraid to use lube. A little goes a long way!”
The book continues, detailing all sorts of intriguing and some mystifying things, in an open and respectful tone, under useful sections such as “Etiquette”, “Spooning” and “Balls.”
Some of these things mystify me, such as Tip #42 and #39. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind an earlobe nibble, but if anyone tried to put my entire ear in their mouth I’d be a little concerned. I wonder if you’d hear the ocean?
Tip #42: ARMPIT PLAY: DO NOT WEAR DEODORANT
“.. ensure everyone is recently showered and not wearing deodorant. No one wants a mouthful of Rexona.”
Tip #39: PAY ATTENTION TO THE EAR LOBES
“Nibble the ear lobes
Lightly lick the earlobes
Put the whole ear (or as much of it as possible) in your mouth
Most men reported that they did not like a tongue inside their actual ear (aka a wet willy)”
Tip #82: DEEP THROATING ISN’T FOR EVERYONE
At the beginning of most sections they have these lovely nuggets. They make it clear that none of these actions are required, and you’re not odd if you don’t enjoy them. This nod to consent and not being pressured into something you don’t enjoy is so important and I love that it’s consistent throughout.
Tip #84: WHEN ATTEMPTING TO DEEP THROAT REPEAT TO YOURSELF “DON’T GAG, DON’T GAG, DON’T GAG”
Tip #172: DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY NO
Tip #113: SEXUAL CHEMISTRY IS IMPORTANT… PERSONALITY CHEMISTRY MAKES SEX EVEN BETTER
I love the acknowledgement that having personal chemistry with your partner can make sex better. They emphasise communication and connection, not because it’s the only way to have sex, but because it can be a fantastic part of it. I’ve always found the idea that casual sex should be free of feelings and any meaningful discussion to be an odd one. Being able to communicate and like each other as people doesn’t mean you have to be in a loving or committed relationship but it does make for better sex. Feeling comfortable enough to communicate your desires, wants, needs and fantasies adds a whole new element to your experiences. Don’t be afraid to make friends along the way!
Tip #129: AVOID CARPET BURN, IT HURTS
Tip #132: SAFETY FIRST: IF YOU HAVE A TRAPEZE, SEX SWING OR A SIMILAR CONTRAPTION, CHECK THE CONNECTING BOLTS REGULARLY
Tip #151: KEEP BREATHING WHILE ANYTHING IS BEING INSERTED INTO YOUR BUTTHOLE
Safety first, folks! This book is so delightfully frank and educational on a topic that people find so difficult to talk in depth about! Learning on the fly can be thrilling, but it can also be mortifying, confusing, and distressing, so I would have loved a book like this when I was starting out to avoid this scenario. We’ve all been there, right? If only our past teenage selves had half of these tips!
I heartily recommend this book to anyone and everyone (above the age of 16 or so) as a font of wisdom, and a nice little guide that also tells you “it’s okay, you don’t have to enjoy nipple play.” Everyone’s bodies and preferences are different, and it’s great to have a handy little book that acknowledges that, while also giving great general advice on what a lot of people enjoy.
So there we have it: Just the Tip: Sex Tips for Chicks by Gay Dudes is available here, (for 20% off use coupon code ANTIVALENTINE at checkout) and you can check out more titles from Lost the Plot here! (We highly recommend Space is Cool as Fuck because let’s face it, space is cool as fuck!)
What is one tip you wish you knew about sex before having it? Tell us in the comments below!